Okay, I am going to try this correct grammer thing since I was told I should use it. So forgive me if I forget once in awhile. I found this topic and thought to self hum do I really want to forgive or do I want to try out anger first since I have not tried out anger I really wanted to do that. Not just any anger the kind of anger that I see others do to me the kind where they use me as a friend until they are done or they get what they want then toss me aside and my feelings get hurt so my anger deep down in the bottom of my soul anger sits. Or the anger when I feel cheated out of something and I make it stay down because I am a nice person at heart and I really do not try and rock the boat and sometimes I do.
I never realized why I am the person who tries the hardest to be happy or let things be most of the time. I used to get mad but not really angry to where I hated so much. I would shake and cry first I just could never be like that. I had the childhood from hell and never thought that I should be angry about being cheated out of it. Never really hated my parents for doing the things they did just felt sorry for them because they could not be parents and it was not their fault it was who they were. I always see the good in people even when others do not and they tell me how they don't like a person that I know. But I do not listen because I feel that is not fair the person should be given a chance and I do not mind if they are a pain or needy they still need a friend and I can do that I am kind of a needy person we all are to someone else we just do not know we are. Ask you will find one person you are needy to.
But now we have to move on to the topic of forgiveness. Which I think is one of the hardest things for us mere mortals to do. Why you may ask well lets see you are putting your heart out there, your pride, your ego and all those other things we cannot really see unless we open you up in some cases to be rejected, hurt, stomped on, bruised get my point. So here goes you first have to get right with yourself and that is finding it within yourself the desire to say "self you are going to forgive this person it is for the saving of your friendship, you and this person should not throw it down the drain, get over your pride and just do it" sometimes self does not listen and the stubborn side tells you "no, don't do it you did nothing wrong they did it leave it alone"" well if you both leave it alone then it will never get resolved. So you will end a friendship instead of hurting your pride. Gee, you take other risks in life all the time so why not this one, what is it the one that has too much at stake or you may not like the outcome. Well, guess what you won't know unless you try.
Okay, so it took me in one case a very long time to resolve my pain and move forward. I think I had to forgive the others that cared for me not necessarily the other person he really did not know I was there and his forgiveness needs to come from his heart as well. I think the first step was the hardest and that was resolving that they just did not know how to handle the situation I mean you can pray and talk to g-d but we are human and need contact but that never happened I never was held and was told to cry it was go to school, heck I did not even get the day off. I wonder if they ever realized how traumatized I was that day. I mean it is not everyday you see what I saw. But at some point I think I never forgave the adults for how they handled it, they just had no clue and I guess they did not have a book to go by either. Well enough about that, let's move on. Forgiving that act of moving forward without looking back. I imagine by now you are thinking I do not have anyone to forgive I have done nothing wrong to anyone. You would be surprised by your actions and what they have cost you. Sit in a circle and ask that question and there will be a conversation that will go on. We cannot do this of course because if we did it would turn into an argument and then well we would have to forgive each other for arguing.
So when was the last time you forgave or someone asked you to forgive them. It is not a daily ritual sadly we just are not programed to do this. Men have to be brave and save face show the woman that he is strong and invincible no wimpy dude is he. Women have to be the queen of the room, in charge , in control of the situation no way can she forgive the others would not look up to her. Sorry everyone but you have to give in or this will never get done. We just cannot be this way and expect for our little world to continue if we do not forgive because without it we have to keep making new friends and can you imagine the time and energy you would have to put into that. Some of us are high maintenance and need lots of tlc so we cannot afford to lose friends. While others have low maintenance and really little care.
Now when it comes time to step up to forgive you will need a road map so you know what to say or do. Before you start think about what you are going to say, how will you approach the conversation. Remember the other person is most likely not happy with you and therefore you must sooth the choppy sea before you go in for the forgive lines. Make sure you do not under any circumstance make them sound like the culprit this will not help your situation in any way. Understand that you will have to be very nice and mean it don't do this unless you really mean it. Forgiving has to come from your heart and be very soulful it cannot be just a thing you do. So when you are really ready then you can do this but you have to be completely ready and know that you can leave all the anger behind you and be happy with the person again without any doubt. Good Luck.
